I rarely switch on my TV nowadays, as I’m sure like most of you, everything I watch is either on my phone or laptop.
However, for the past few days I’ve been flicking through the channels and encountered Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins.
The show is fantastic, as it really proves the UK is full of pathetically weak celebrities who are incapable of doing anything.
The screaming pains, crying, restlessness – all for what?
A bit of mud, a few early starts, and angry ex-SAS instructors telling you what to do.
Grow a pair!
I’m now seeing floods of stories of how the celebrity contestants were ‘damaged’ by the experience.
You can’t make this stuff up!
Saira Khan, for example, said she was left with “physical scars” and Kerry Katona was “humiliated” because she had to change her clothes.
I couldn’t quite believe what I was reading.
After starring in several TV shows, I know what happens behind the camera and nothing is at it seems.
The melodramatic tears and endless whaling are probably orchestrated by the celebs for airtime and headlines.
The likes of has-been Kerry Katona craves attention, so of course she’s going to dramatise some of her reactions for the viewers.
Naturally, a lot of what we see will be genuine and that really goes to show how feeble some of these stars are.
The Apprentice is often described as one of the toughest reality shows on telly, and I would agree, wholeheartedly.
When it comes to getting down and dirty in some grass versus dealing with Lord Sugar in the boardroom, I’d go for the grass any day of the week.
During one of the challenges, stars such as Strictly’s Ore Oduba said: “I was unable to breathe” and was pretty useless in saving the hostage.
Echoing the same fragility was another celeb in the line-up, X Factor’s Jake Quickenden, who claimed it was the hardest thing he’s ever done.
Even on the first day of filming, television presenter Ulrika Jonsson ended up in an ambulance after a naked beach run.
The melodrama displayed on this show is merely a symptom of the culture we’re breeding in the UK.
It’s a sad and hopeless culture of despair and self-pity, where people have become so sensitive when faced with some hard work, they simply crack under the pressure.
The worst examples of this weak mentality are celebs, where they’re used to being pampered, brown-nosed, and adored, they’ve lost total track of reality and can’t handle the ‘real world’.
It’s about time we scrap this cancel culture and tendencies to be offended – by anything – in order to toughen-up as a nation.
As we’ve seen with Piers Morgan, we need more celebs that have the conviction to stick to their guns, and often that leads to victory.
What I’ve seen on Celebrity SAS are a bunch of irritating twerps who can’t stomach a bit of army training and make a song and dance about their experience to grab some press afterwards.
What kind of lesson does that teach our children?
Some of whom are the sons and daughters of the celebrity contestants who took part – it’s embarrassing!
To the future celebs who choose to take part in the show: don’t be like the current cast.
Have some guts, embrace the challenges, and prove to the nation that you’re not just a dispensable airhead.
To be fair, with more celebrity shows approaching, if I were ever asked to go on Celebrity SAS, I would 100% do it.
Guess what? You wouldn’t see me crying.
Do you have a story you’re itching for Ryan-Mark to cover? Email: [email protected]
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