At a vampire’s birthday party, we felt festive this week What we do in the shadows but then a shocking exit ruined all the fun.
Thursday’s episode kicks off with Nandor being held captive in the vampires’ subterranean prison cell after his fitness-inspired escape last week. Nadja says he’s been “brainwashed,” but an exhausted Nandor lists his roommates’ many shortcomings before declaring: He’s taking a “super sleep.” That’s a kind of vampire hibernation in which they sleep for up to 300 years and wake up in a (hopefully) completely different world. As Nandor says goodbye, Nadja cries, and Colin is upset too, but only because it’s his 100th birthday and no one remembers.
Guillermo is reluctant, but he does as Nandor has asked and locks him in his coffin, closing his room to contain him. The others get some good news, though: A delegation from the Supreme Worldwide Vampiric Council is coming by tonight to check on their progress. (“This is a huge honor for us,” admits Laszlo, “but as with all major awards, it’s a pain in the pocket.”)
They can even combine the visit with a birthday party for Colin, so it’s a win -win situation. The vampire delegation will want to see Nandor though, so they wake him up from his super sleep, but he’s cranky and just tells them to say they killed him before going back to sleep in his coffin.
That night, the vampire delegation arrives, including Khandi Alexander as the red-clad Contessa, David Cross as Dominicas the Dreadful (with a “human girlfriend” in tow), and Donal Logue as…Donal Logue. (He became a real vampire after filming Sheet, you see, “I kind of fell in love with the lifestyle.”)
A grand blood banquet ensues, and Nadja tells the vampires she had to kill Nandor to keep control of the Vampiric Council – and they approve! However, they want to see his dead body, so Guillermo has to break open his coffin again, and Nandor pretends to be dead while the vampires examine his corpse… and are, er, ‘member’. (They’ve heard stories.)
But hey, it’s Colin’s birthday too, guys! Laszlo raises a toast to his friend – a surprisingly weak one, in fact. He later explains to Nadja, “Colin Robinson will be dead by sunrise.” In their research on energy vampires, Laszlo found that they have a lifespan of exactly one hundred years, and he kept the truth to himself while ensuring that Colin had many fun adventures in his last days. Colin falls ill and retreats to his bedroom, and the other vampires gather around his bed – despite him getting quite windy.
Guillermo wakes Nandor one more time to say goodbye to Colin, but it’s too late: he’s already dead. Nandor, crankier than ever, thinks he’s not actually dead, but when he tries to wake Colin, he ends up in the man’s skull, leaving his hand covered in the slime. “I guess he wasn’t pretending,” Nandor says, adding, “This is very sad.” We agree! Is Colin Robinson no more? Is this the last we’ll see of Mark Proksch’s sublime work as the lovely, dull energy vampire?